Dead?

10km run

Jurong lake run. 

2012. My first run. 

2013. My longest run (currently)

10km. 

I've started. 

I've conquered. 

More than just a run. 

It was a time to prove myself. 

It was a time to strengthen my mental. 

It was a time to set things straight. 

One thing I gained today was sometimes it's not about finishing the run alone. Sometimes what about helping that friend or even a stranger out there so that everyone can get there. It doesn't matter even if he/she might pull you back but knowing that you made that difference. 

Started off alone. 

Finished with the little boy. 

I knew I could have clocked a faster timing if I didn't run with him. 

But seeing him finishing was more rewarding than a faster timing. 

I'm proud of him. 

Not an easy feat for a 13 year old. 

Long distance no matter how far for anyone is not just a test about the physical. It is a test of the mental. It is a test of not giving up when the going is tough. 

I'm proud to say I didn't stop running (well except for hydrating myself at the water points). 

“It’s very hard in the beginning to understand that the whole idea is not to beat the other runners. Eventually you learn that the competition is against the little voice inside you that wants you to quit.” – George Sheehan

Reflections

It has been a long time. 

It has been a long time since I posted.

It has been a long time since I had been touched. 

It has been a long time since I felt genuinely happy. 

It has been a long time since I reflected this much. 

It has been a long time since I felt that there is hope in this dark world. 

It has been a long time since I found back the true meaning of "bringing joy through service". 

Acid was great but today just brought the whole thing to greater heights. 

I never expected them to remember me. To remember my name so well. To remember me being their friend during acid. I was touched. To me it's incredible. To know that I made a difference. To be their friends. 

Their smiles on their faces brought smiles to my face. The hi-fives, the handshake, the gratitude. 

Their innocence. Their happiness. It's all beautiful. Genuine. 

They are happy over the smallest things and I wish I could too. But as we achieve more in this society, as we move higher, nothing seems to satisfy us. Big things sometimes bring us only superficial happiness, but what about deep down. 

It made me reflect. What had I become the past two years in jc. What happened to what I got from Ijym in sn. I have lost the most important part of myself. Found again by these trainees.

Ultimately it's them who matter. What I could give them is only a fraction of what they gave me. 

It has been a long time. 

It's time to be back to myself. One that I can be true to myself.